Weird Adventures
by Alchemily
Summary: Ash, Misty, Brock,and their Pokemon are traveling and will eventually meet up with others. Also, fun visits to Emily's Heaven! A land of a thirteen year old smart ass who picks on Pokemon! M for language, violence, and more.
1. The Beginning

A/N: This is my first story. This is a stupid comedy involving killing, swearing, and other things you could imagine! This is a stupid story so if u dont like them, dont read. Please enjoy!:)

Ages: Ash: 15, Misty: 16, Brock: 20

*Weird Adventures*

One day at Ash's house after the Indigo League, Ash, Brock, Misty, and Pikachu were playing uno.

Ash: I GOT AN UNO! HELL YEAH!!

Misty: Jeez Ash! My ear felt like it blew up!

A: Sorry Misty.

Pikachu: Pika pi pika....(Uno sucks! I'm taking a nap.)

Brock: Hey guys, I'm gonna make some chili. After we eat we should go for a stroll with our Pokemon.

A: Sure why not?

Meanwhile with Pikachu, Squirtle, and Bulbasaur in the backyard...

Bulbasaur: Pikachu, where'd you get this shit?

P: I went for a walk and a thundershocked a weird guy. I found 10 pounds of crack in his backpack and took it!

Squirtle: Well, good find!

Back in the house....

A: Misty, Brock, where's my pokemon?

M: In the backyard getting high.

A: Oh. Brock this chili tastes like shit. Literally, shit.

B: .......I guess I'll take that as a compliment.

A&M: ........?

Just then, a jolly lady comes through the door.

Delia: Ashy honey! I'm home!

A: Thats great mom. (_Like I give a fuck)_

D: Oh by the way, I stopped at Wal-Mart and got 6 packs of underwear for you! Isn't that great?

A: ......(Turns away while everyone laughs)

B: I think we should go for a stroll now.

A: Whatever..... Pikachu! Bulbasaur! Squirtle! Stop getting hi- YOU STOLE MY BEER?!?! Oh you guys are dead!!(Shoots his pokemon)

D: BEER?!?! You're underage Ash!

A: Yeah but who cares?

D: Not me!

M: Ash! You don't have pokemon now!

A: Yeah I do. Charizard I choose you!

Charizard: Char! (Uses flamethrower on Ash)

A: Asshole.

They then start the walk

M: Let's not go to Viridian Forest! I hate fuckin' bugs!

A: You still have that fear? Oh give me a break!

M: Well, I still do! Let's go to Cerulean City but not through the forest!

B: Nah. We're going through the forest just to piss you off. Hahahahahaha!

Misty shoots Brock with Ash's AK-47

M: Well I guess it's just you and me! Let's use a bird pokemon to fly there!

A: Ok. I choose you Pidgeot!

Pidgeot: What the fuck do you bitches want?

M: Umm.. you can talk?

P: DUH! Can't you hear me?

A: We want a ride to Cerulean City.

P: God! Go here go there! Give me a fuckin' break! Oh wait. YOU TWO ARE ON A DATE! HA!

A&M: NO WE'RE NOT!!

P: Fine. Whatever. Let's go already

Well thats Chapter 1! Not a real good story but It'll get better! Read and Review! (Don't worry Brock, Pikachu, Squirtle and Bulbasaur will be back) I will not continue without plenty of good reviews


	2. Murdering and Making Out

A/N: I guess one review is enough! Lots of bad language in this one; So here's chapter 2! :)

Ash and Misty arrived in Cerulean City and saw Brock and the Pokemon Ash shot.

Ash: What the fuck?! I thought you guys were dead! How'd you come back to life?

Brock: The author, Emily, revived us! Ha!

Misty: God I wish you were still fucking dead!

B: Fuck you!

M: Thank you!

Pikachu: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Everyone: What the hell?!

P: All Pokemon can talk they just don't feel like it all the time!

Everyone: Oh.

M: Let's go to my gym Ash! We can make ou- I mean uh.. erm... LET'S HAVE A POKEMON BATTLE!!

A: You are so on!

So they ran for the gym leaving Brock behind flirting with a group of girls and Pikachu pissed off.

P: I'm going to jump off a cliff now.

So he did and Emily revived him again.

P: Let me go to Hell! I want to hang out with the devils!

Emily: Sorry! You need to stay in the damn story or it'll be even more boring!!

P: Fine dumb bitch.

E: WHAT WAS THAT?

P: Umm, nothin! You're a great author!

E: Okay... well thank you.

Anyways, at Misty's gym,

A: How should we battle?

M: 3 on 3, if you win, we'll do whatever you want.

A: And if I lose?

M: We have to make out! Oh shit!

A: Uhh, all right.

M: Really? (I have to win) Well, I choose you Starmie!

Starmie: Another stupid fucking battle you slut?

M: Fuck you.

Misty shot Starmie and chose Staryu instead. Ash chose Charizard. Ash always was stupid.

Back at a hotel, Brock was making out with one of those girls. Nothin' else there so back to gym! Misty won the match and I'm not at all suprised!

M: Well, Ashy Boy, I win. You have to mak-

Ash came up to her and started making out with her. God! Everyone's making out so let's check on Pikachu, Bulbasaur, and Squirtle.

Squirtle: I don't like drugs or alcohol. I think I did something bad when I was in Poke Heaven.

Bulbasaur: What?

S: Uhh, well I don't like talking about it.

B: Oh. Well we won't do that stuff no more.

Pikachu then... drove up in a Ferrari?!

P: Come on bitches! We'll run over people!

B: Umm, NO!

P: Then fuck you!

Pikachu threw a knife at Bulbasaur that killed him.

Emily: Fuck! Can't anyone just stay alive? I'm not a fucking angel!

B: Thank you.

I then gave Bulbasaur a Swiss Army Knife.

B: What the hell's this for?

E: Well, it's for payback.

B: Oh yeah! I'll get that yellow rat!

E: Yeah! That's the spirit! Well, that's all of Chapter 2! Chapter 3 will be here real soon! Review please! *Emily*


	3. More Damn Deaths

A/N: Well, I guess I don't have school for the rest of the week because of a flood. So, that means I can get going on this story! Chapter 3! Bad language again and even more violence. Oh, and I don't own Pokemon!

Bulbasaur had rage in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to tear Pikachu apart. Pikachu is a real pain in the ass. Bulbasaur found him. He was electricuting a group of Pidgey. This dude needs time in Poke Prison.

Bulbasaur: Yo asshole! Take this!

He then threw the knife at him. Pikachu caught it! He threw at Bulbasaur. He caught it! It was like they were playing catch for 12 minutes and Pikachu was dead.

B: Hey Emily, are you bringing him back to life?

Emily: Depends on what the readers think.

B: I say no!

E: Well, we'll have to see Bulbasaur.

Meanwhile, with Brock, he was walking with a girl named Lauren, possibly his girlfriend.

Brock: So, are you my girlfriend?

Lauren: Hell no! I just like making out with random guys! That reminds me, I have another date. Bye loser!

B: Bye fat ass!

Lauren shot Brock with a pistol. What the fuck is it with these guns and murders?

B: Hey Emily, can I come back?

E: Nah. You're barely in this story anyway.

B: Horse shit.

Back at the gym, Misty was sitting by Ash, possibly her boyfriend.

Ash: My god, that was nice.

Misty: I agree. So are you my boyfriend?

A: Hell yes! I only like making out with you!

M: Well, that's good. Let's watch the news!

Reporter: This just in! Brock Slate was shot to death by a so called beautiful woman today!

Ash and Misty looked at each other and shrugged.

M: He always was a perv.

A: Yup.

M: Hey, Ash? We should go to Hoenn! We can see Max, May, and Drew!

A: Uh, OK! Let's roll!

Misty rolled around.

A: I didn't mean literally dumbass!

M: Oh.

A: By the way where's Pikachu and Bulbasaur? Squirtle came back, but where are the others?

Bulbasaur then came in the gym with Pikachu's body.

A: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

B: Hey chill! If the readers want him back, he can be back!

A: Oh.

M: Before we go to Hoenn, go say bye to your mom.

A: Fuck no!

M: Do you want it with me?

A: YEAH!!!!!!

M: Then l want you to go say bye!

A: Yes ma'am!

Ash then ran on his way to Pallet Town not slowing down a bit.

M: Oh guys. Wait, he's only 15. Oh SHIT! I better catch up with him! If he blurts that out to her I'm dead!

Misty then ran after him with Bulbasaur.

Emily: Maybe I will revive Brock. Who knows? Readers, it's all up to you! Chapter 4 should be here tonight! Peace out! *Emily*


	4. Plans and Revivals

A/N: Sorry 'bout the delay! This flood is horrible! I might have to evacuate my home!! AAH! Well, anyways, here's Chapter 4! BTW, Brock and Pikachu will be back, and this chapter should be longer than others! Enjoy!

I don't own Pokemon or Family Guy

Brock and Emily were having a weird talk in Emily's heaven world or whatever.

Brock: Will you please let me out of here?! Surprisingly, I'm still a virgin!

Emily: .....huh? But you flirt with every girl you meet! You even flirted with me! At least one girl shoulda screwed you by now.

Brock: Well, people think I'm a perv.

Emily: Well you are. And I don't like you in that way.

Brock: Aah. Well who do you like?

Emily: Nobody really.

Brock: Yeah fuckin' right!

Emily: Ok I do like someone at my school, but I'm not tellin' a pervert! Besides you wouldn't know him.

Brock: Well, then you can tell me!

Emily: GOD DAMN IT! GO BACK TO THE WORLD AND GET OUTTA MY FACE!

Brock: YAY!!! I can flirt again!

Pikachu: My turn!

Emily: Hell no! You've done enough there!

Pikachu: Please? I swear I won't hurt Bulbasaur!

Emily: Sure you won't.

Pikachu: I swear.

Pikachu gave me the cutest looking eyes you could see!

Emily: Ok! If you promise not to hurt ANYONE!

Pikachu: Cross my heart and hope to die!

Emily: Whatever. I'm gonna take a nap.

Pikachu: But, aren't you gonna finish the chapter? And I thought you hated naps.

Emily: Oh yeah! I do! I'm gonna keep writing! And can I call you Pika for short?

Pikachu: It's your story.

Emily: YAY!

Well enough of that! Let's go to Pallet Town and see whats going on. Ash and Misty arrived at Ash's house. Bulbasaur did too, exhausted by running.

Ash: I'm so damn dumb! Bulbasaur sorry! Return!

Misty: Ash, DO NOT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT I SAID!

Ash: Don't worry Mist.

Misty: I love when you call me that!

They then kissed before entering the house.

Ash: MOM! I'm home!

Delia: Ashy Baby! You're just in time for lunch!

Ash: Yay! Food!

Misty: Oh brother.

Meanwhile, in my heaven with a dead Blastoise, we were playing Connect Four.

Blastoise: Ha! I'm gonna win!

Emily: Not exactly.

Blastoise: You got 3 in a row, but I'll block it.

Emily: Wrong! There were 2 ways for me to win! My 32nd time today!

Blastoise: SON OF A BITCH! I HAVEN'T WON ONE GAME!

Blastoise destroyed the game.

Emily: Damn you. Well, you wanna watch Family Guy?

Blastoise: Sure!

Emily: Peter and Stewie are the coolest!

Blastoise: I like Brian! He gives me a boner!

Emily: .......

Blastoise: What'd I say?

Emily: You don't even have a dick.

Blastoise: DAMN YOU ARE SO MEAN TO ME! I WANNA HAVE SEX! WAHHH!

Emily: ........

Blastoise then committed suicide.

Emily: Well, he was already dead.

Back to Pallet Town....

Ash: Ah. I feel better now.

Misty: You're such a pig!

Ash: What can I say? I like food.

Delia: That's my Ash!

Ash: Hey mom, guess what I'm real excited for?

Misty felt a shiver down her spine.

Delia: What Ash?

Misty: (Don't say it!Don't say it!) she thought

Ash: We're going to H-

Misty: We're going to Hoenn!

Ash: That's what I was gonna say!

Misty: Oh, well continue.

Ash: We wanna visit May, Max, and Drew.

Delia: That's great sweetie! So is Brock going? And where's Pikachu?

Brock: I'm right here!

Ash&Misty: AAAAHHHHH!!!

Brock: What? Emily revived me again.

Misty: Oh. Brock you wanna go to Hoenn?

Brock: No. I'm losin' my virginity tonight with 3 girls.

Delia: Ummmm...

Brock: I'm leavin' now!

Ash: Pikachu...

Pikachu: Yes Ash? (I can't stand being nice! I gotta smoke some weed!)

Ash: You're alive! Yes! You wanna go to Hoenn buddy?

Pikachu: Uh... no.

Ash: Too damn bad! You don't have a choice!

Pikachu was gonna kill Ash, but remembered what Emily said.

**FLASHBACK**

Emily: Hey, Pika.

Pikachu: Yeah Emily?

Emily: If you kill one more person, I will rip your balls off!

Pikachu: AAAAAH! Wait. I don't have any.

Emily: Shit. WELL I'LL MAKE YOU SUFFER!

**END**

Pikachu: Uhhh. I'd love to go Ash!

Ash: Great!

Misty: Hey Ash, come here.

Ash: Yeah Mist?

Misty: Let's go to the gym. I wanna "do" something with you there before we leave.

Ash: Do you mean?

Misty: Yes dipshit. Let's go!

Ash: YAY!

Emily: There was a bit more humor in this chapter and I even laughed writing it! Well you should know what'll happen next chapter! It probably won't be lemon though. It will probably minor if there is any. Hope you liked it! *Emily*


	5. STD's and Disasters

A/N: Thanks to Pokeshipper247 for reviewing! Come on people! I've had plenty of viewers so review please! Ok. This is chapter 5. No lemon. I feel too uncomfortable to write that stuff yet. Well, anyways here it is! Enjoy!

Well Ash and Misty went to the gym to "fool around". Luckily for them, Misty's sisters were in the Orange Islands. They were sitting on Misty's bed.

Ash: So, uh.

Misty: Yup.

Ash: Are you sure you wanna do this? I mean... it's up to you.

Misty: Ash you dickhead! This was my idea!

Ash: Okay. It's just I'm only 15. I mean, I guess I'll do it.

Misty: Oh! So now you don't want to? You we're so excited earlier! Oh but no! Not Ash! He doesn't have the guts! I guess I-

Ash then started kissing her and she kissed back. Then they started to remove each others clothes and all that shit. Well, let's see what Pikachu's doing downstairs. He's watching Disaster Movie the unrated version with Squirtle.

Pikachu: Haha! Juney's water broke! Will and Calvin have it all over 'em! Hahaha!

Squirtle: That's revolting! And you're so evil!

Pikachu: Thanks!

Squirtle: Not a prob.

Pikachu and Squirtle heard Misty and Ash upstairs ooh-lah-lahing.

Pikachu: Uhm... you think _I'm_ revolting?

Squirtle: Compared to them, you're so awesome!

At the low rent hotel, Brock was waiting for his 3 girls. Ish.

Brock: Where are my sexy ladies?

Just then he saw someone he never wanted to see again. Lauren.

Lauren: Well, if it isn't Brock. Hey listen to me.

Brock: Shit..... AAAAAAAH!

He ran off. Coward.

Lauren: I was gonna tell him those girls got in a car accident and died and also that I would take their place, but whatever.

Now in Emily's heaven, Emily was having a talk with.... James from Team Rocket?

Emily: So James, how'd you get here?

James: Jessie hit me too hard with her fan thingy.

Emily: That fan killed you? Hahahahahahahahaha!

James: Shut up! She hit me with it too much! Or it could have been that STD....shit!!

Emily: ......uh.... I may be stupid but can you die from STDs?

James: Perhaps. That question was stupid!

Emily: Sorry! Where I go to school, sex ed is in 8th grade! I'm only finishing 7th! So who gave it to you?

James: Who do you think?

Emily: Jessie?

James: No, Victreebell. Of course Jessie!

Emily: That's disgustin' man.

James: I know! Waaaaaaaaaaahhh!

Emily hit him in the head with a pan.

Emily: Go back to Kanto bitch!

Emily literally kicked his ass back to Kanto.

James: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Emily: I knew those soccer camps would come in handy!

Back to the gym, Misty and Ash were finished.

Ash: Uh.....

Misty: Uh.....

Ash: That was..... awesome.

Misty: I agree.

Ash: You want to do it again?

Misty: No. I'm too exhausted.

Ash: How 'bout just makin' out?

Misty: Okay handsome.

They started making out which led to even more screwing. My god! I think I'll call that Chapter 5. Update tonight! Review please! *Emily*


	6. High and Drunk Pokemon

A/N: YAY! I'm back to story writing! It's chapter 6 baby! By the way, if you like a more serious mushy love story, try reading Could This Be Love. Not much humor in it so if you want humor, stick to this. Extra swearing in this one! It may be more boring dunno.

Brock was still running from Lauren. He _never_ stopped. He went quite far. Fuschia city is quite far, wouldn't you say?

Brock: I think.... I got... away from.... her. I was so damn excited for that stuff! I wanna do what I think Ash and Misty are doing. Unprotected.

Meanwhile at a liquor store parking lot in Cerulean City, Pikachu was buying beer, and Squirtle and Bulbasaur were drinking what they had left.

Squirtle: This shit's the fucking shit!!! I wanna MATE!!!

Bulbasaur: Me too you damn bitch!

Squirtle: How about me?

Bulbasaur: Nah.. I wanna bigger ass!

Squirtle: I know a good Rhydon and Pachirisu!

Bulbasaur: Rhydon's nice, but Pachirisu? Really?

Squirtle: What's wrong with that?

Bulbasaur: They're tiny squirts!

Squirtle: Musta been too drunk to realize that. Hmm.

Bulbasaur: Hmm... spell Mississippi.

Squirtle: Piece of cake! M-I-S-S-I-P-I!

Bulbasur: Too much Corona.

Squirtle: NO! It's Guinness!

Bulbasaur: Whatever. We're out of goddamn beer though!

Just then, Pikachu ran out of the liquor store with beer and a fatass chasing him!

Fatass: Get back here you prickachu!

Pikachu: PRICKACHU!!?? FUCK YOU!

Pikachu shot fatass with 2 SMGs constantly.

Fatass: I....just wanted....your....autograph.

Pikachu: ....?

Let's check on Emily's heaven!

Emily: I can't concentrate! What the fuck is a stanza??

Just then, a nerdy Machoke came and answered it.

Nerdy Machoke: A stanza is one of those poem things. Let me explain deeper. Stan-

Emily threw her book at him.

Emily: I was being sarcastic dipstick! I know what it is!

Nerdy Machoke: Just trying to help you ma'am. My deepest apoligies.

Emily: Fuck you. Leave.

Nerdy Machoke: Make me.

Emily: I will.

Emily grabbed her master ball containing Rayquaza and it popped out. He was quite a rabid fella.

Rayquaza: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I kill everything!!!!!!! Faggot ass Machoke!!!!!!!!!!!!

It used hyper beam and blew it to bits.

Emily: I didn't tell you to do that.

Rayquaza: Well I love to kill gay things! Like those Barbie and Ken dolls Sabrina gave you when we beat her!

Emily: This is the first time I've seen those.

Rayquaza: Yeah me too.

Emily: You're high on that weed we found on our visit to Brooklyn aren't you?

Rayquaza: Yep!

Emily: Drugs can kiss my ass! Fuck 'em and alcohol!

Rayquaza: You suck.

Emily: Well I make smart decisions so I can live longer. Since I'm the story writer, I can do anything, including life time.

Rayquaza: Life time? Whadya mean?

Emily: This. You will die in 1 minute 43 seconds. I will not revive you.

Rayquaza: NO!

Emily: The cause is from too much vodka every day and 589 kilos of weed.

Rayquaza: You're so smart!

Emily: Seeya never again. Time's up!

Rayquaza: Bye.

Rayquaza had a seizure, a stroke, a heart attack, and a baby. ?*_*?

Emily: Didn't know it had a girlfriend or boyfriend. Shit. I don't even know it's gender. Well, Chapter 6 is complete pplz! Review while I write poetry. (That is my actual homework, and yes I know what stanzas are very well. Thank you for your concern. LOL :))


	7. The EndingSummary to Sequel

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the delay! This will be the last chapter of Weird Adventures, but don't worry. 'Cause.....I will be publishing Weirder Adventures later this June or in early July! So I got some dumb things in mind, I'll write now.

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**THE FOLLOWING IS ACTUALLY TRUE!!!!**

Today, June 5th, 2009, Emily officially finished 7th grade! She was at a party with her friends, and she ate too much. She also fell on the road and bled. She's a dumbass. Her friends even say that. Also, buttface, asshole, motherfucker, bitch, hobo, homo, and a ho. It's not bad though. She just laughs.

**NO MORE IS TRUE!!**

Emily: Is it just me, or am I wasted?

Houndour: You're not wasted buttface.

Emily: Fuck you!

Houndour: Fuck _you_!

Emily: Fine.

Houndour: What were your final grades?

Emily: None of your biz.

Houndour: Did you get at least a 3.75 GPA? You coulda gone on that Valleyfair trip.

Emily randomly pulled out a .357 and shot him in the head.

Emily: I got a motherfucking 3.45! I need to get help...where the fuck is Dr. Phil when ya need him?

Emily walked away cursing. Let's go see....Ash!

Ash and Misty were walking on a road to a ferry to see the others.

Misty: Ash? Do you know where Brock is?

Ash: Hmmm... I don't have a clue.

Misty: Yeah me either. Didn't he say he wasn't going because he's losing his virginity to three girls?

Ash: Oh yeah! Hope he had fun!

Misty: Me too.

They passed a TV store and saw breaking news.

Reporter: A man named Brock Slate or Harrison (A/N: I've heard both of these but not sure which one it is), was killed by...running into a truck. It's not sad. In other news....

Ash: Thank the lord!

Misty: Brock is dead! Whooooo!

Ash: We can do each other more often!

Misty: YAY!!!!!

Ash: Let's go to the ferry!

Misty: Yeah!!

With that they went to the ferry. Let's visit Emily one more time before we see the sequel.

Emily: Hello readers. I am Emily and I got professional help. Now I'm real nice. HAHA! Just pulling your fuckin' leg! I got eviler! HA! Weird Adventures is over, but Weirder Adventures will be here tonight babay! WHOO!

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A/N: Thanks for reading everyone! Weirder Adventures will be just as inappropriate, so be aware. Summary below.

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**Weirder Adventures Summary**

Ash and Misty are going on a ferry to Hoenn. There will be some of your favorite people on there from movies and other things. Emily is no longer in a heaven, but is selling.....comic books at a stand in Moorhead, Minnesota? Beware...

XD


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